Abandonment: A block in Self Empowerment

Abandonment according to me, is nothing else but a reflection of a deep rooted feeling that, ‘I don’t matter to myself’. 

In our daily life we usually attach ourselves to our relationships, situations and our worldly possessions, thus giving our loved ones the power to  control how we feel. Because we attach our happiness and well being with the people who we love, then their words and actions can cause heart ache and give us pain. This in fact makes a very vicious circle when we forget ourselves and our feelings in the process, trying to be super heroes and living up to the expectations of others. One problem arises when unknowingly we embark on a journey wherein we forget ourselves in the process. It wasn’t too long ago when I was also treading the same path, and kept walking on a journey of people pleasing. Little did I realise that I was abandoning myself in the process. And then when people whom I loved and cared for did not give a desired response and overlooked me, I would fall into a victim zone. This led to a series of heart breaks and I felt like a fragmented person, with pieces of my broken heart scattered all around. I started storing a lot of emotional trauma and pain. 

Then when I started my inner journey I realized that it was no one else but me, who had abandoned myself. I had abandoned my inner child long ago, in my early childhood years and that wounded child was now the auto pilot, driving my life. The unhealed scars of abandonment by my parents in the early years of my life and similar abandonment stories that I was carrying in my cellular memory from previous lifetimes, were active. 

Every small issue that gave the slightest feeling of abandonment became a trigger and the wounded child would take over the response. It was only when I healed my wounded inner child and started reparenting it, I could support myself in threatening situations, much like how a parent supports the child. Over a period of time, ‘I finally mattered to myself’.       And then the empowerment journey began. Visiting my past lives helped in clearing the feeling of abandonment from my cellular memory and soothing my inner child helped in healing the scars of abandonment from my childhood. 
Today
I no longer cry when you hurt me, abandon me, or abuse me. 
Today I'm ready to learn my lessons when hurt; love myself when abandoned; and live life to the fullest when abused. 
Today I parent my Inner child and stand by it, holding hands and wiping tears, for a better tomorrow!